Note to self: By attempting to sound “royal,” you instantly doubled your chin volume.
Also worth mentioning, you made your too-cool-for-school son laugh. See video proof.
Lastly, but most importantly, remember that these kids of yours might make your head spin, but they also make your heart beat. Prayers to the students, staff, and parents affiliated with Arapahoe High School in Colorado on this Friday.
By now we’ve all heard the catchy tune, What does the fox say?
This video debuted in September and soon went viral wracking up nearly 270,000,000 hits on YouTube.
Then there’s this little phenomenon called vlogging (video + blogging). A young lady taking full advantage of this platform is Jenna Mourey, or more commonly known by her pseudonym, Jenna Marbles. Her YouTube channel has over 11 million subscribers.
Here’s a snippet of her work (disclaimer: a lot of her vlogs are not appropriate for those easily offended by bad language).
So, yeah, I guess that’s all the explanation I need to justify why I’m running with this impulsive idea to produce and upload a vlog of my thoughts on a weekly basis.
My goal is 20 views (baby steps) in a single week. Hell, maybe you might even want to subscribe to my channel? I know…I know…that’s crazy talk.
I’m not promising high tech, high quality stuff here. Just thoughts from a mom who doesn’t know how to remove those black boxes on both sides of her video window, or guarantee good audio, or understand her iPhone. I can tell you’re on the edge of your seat.
Without further ado…
And, yes, I asked you to vote for me. To translate mom-ese, that means like my video.
School pictures…a right of passage for kids. I remember convincing myself as a child that my entire year would be as good as the printed mugshot I saw staring back at me in the yearbook.
My sixth grade photo involved inadvertent feathered bangs and a failed attempt at a closed-mouth-yet-natural-looking smile to hide my silver grill. Sixth grade was blah. Coincidence? I think not.
However, no matter how bad the picture, I never had a “re-do.” Life’s imperfect and, as such, school photos are imperfect.
My daughter, who’s now 5, had her preschool photo taken earlier this year. After a 40-minute prep session (which KILLED me), I sent her off to school in style and couldn’t wait to see the finished product.
Sporting primped hair, a pressed dress, and a cute smile.
With her photo session scheduled a mere hour after I dropped her off, I was positive I’d be pleased with the precious picture that would arrive in 2-3 weeks. I’d proudly display it for all the world to see.
Then…well…then THIS happened.
Uuummmm…was there an all-night rave I didn’t know about? Did the photographer not count to 3? What is UP with that hair and faux smile?
I stared at the instructions on the envelope for picture retake day. Would I be THAT mom who is so conceited that she forces her daughter to go through another photo session? I honestly didn’t think her photo gave any indication of her true personality. Part of me actually wondered if the photographer was rushed. I mean, this COULDN’T have been the best option, right?
I decided to swallow my pride and take the following Friday off from work to accompany Jaycee on picture retake day.
After we made our way back to the makeshift studio and waited for her turn to pose, I got to witness firsthand how patient and caring the photographer was with all of the kids. He took multiple shots while making playful noises and waving hand puppets around. He gave no harsh orders, just kind praise.
I started to wonder if it might have been my daughter who caused the first photo fiasco. Before I could give it much thought, it was her turn.
And this, my friends, is what unfolded before my very eyes.
Clearly, I’ll be ready when I’m ready.
I’d rather make this face than smile.
WHAT?! I can’t hear you over my mom yelling at me to calm down. You’ll have to speak up!
How about the floor? You want me on the floor or what?
I freakin LOVE rolling around on the floor. Are you capturing this magic?
You wanna piece of me? Ok get ready cause I’m coming at you.
Aaaannd pose.
Mark my words. I will never, ever assume again that the person behind the camera lens was somehow rushed. On the contrary, if I get a picture that even remotely resembles my psychotic mini-me, I owe that photographer double what he normally charges.
What you see is what you get. 100% sassiness guaranteed.
Special thanks to Sully from Sbello Photos for capturing these hilarious moments. If you’re looking for a way to showcase your kid’s true personality, he’s your man!
Written by Heidi Woodard
maternalmedia 