• /
    • Archives /
  • November 30, 1999

Archives For November 30, 1999

Santa’s sick…12 days til Christmas

December 12, 2012

My daughter brought home this picture today from preschool. It basically sums up how I’ve felt the past 48 hours.

My daughter's artwork is both sloppy and endearing - much like her mom.

My daughter’s artwork is both sloppy and endearing – much like me.

Here’s the problem: Santa has no time to be sick. Santa’s bought roughly a half dozen (rounding up) gifts so far.

Starting tomorrow, there will be 12 Days Til Christmas. Every year I tell myself I won’t put off buying gifts until the last minute, and every year I succumb to the sad realization that I am a procrastinator who detests shopping.

My mom let me know today that she has officially finished finding the perfect gifts for everyone and is ready to embrace the holidays.

I wanted to be mad at her, but that was hard to do since she basically tended to my every need the past two days. How can you possibly say “I can’t stand how organized you are!” in between sips of homemade soup? (OF COURSE HER SOUP IS HOMEMADE…I’m fairly confident I was switched at birth.)

At this point, I can’t even take deep breaths to try to clear my mind and calm myself down. I start coughing like a chain smoker every time I inhale.

All I can do is muster up enough energy to rewrite a classic holiday favorite with lyrics inspired by stress. Feel free to sing along.

12 Days Til Christmas

On the twelfth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
At least you bought a tree

On the eleventh day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
You’ve got two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the tenth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
There are three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the ninth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the eighth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
THRIVE under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the seventh day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
Nix your expectations,
THRIVE under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the sixth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
You’re an awful parent,
Nix your expectations,
THRIVE under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the fifth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
You’re LATE every year!
What an awful parent,
Nix your expectations,
Cry under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the fourth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
Go blame your husband,
For being LATE every year!
You’re both awful parents,
Nix your expectations,
Cry under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the third day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
Everything is hopeless,
Go blame your husband,
For being LATE every year!
You’re both awful parents,
Nix your expectations,
Cry under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the second day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
Wrapping’s overrated,
Everything is hopeless,
Go blame your husband,
For being LATE every year!
You’re both awful parents,
Nix your expectations,
Cry under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the day before Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
There’s always next year,
Wrapping’s overrated,
Everything is hopeless,
Go blame your husband,
For being LATE every year!
You’re both awful parents,
Nix your expectations,
Cry under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree (with a light-up star that quit working almost immediately after we brought it home)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS PEOPLE!

Written by Heidi Woodard

In Just for Fun, Shame, Stress release , , , , , , , ,
permalink

Do not for one moment believe you are all alone

December 3, 2012

I don’t even know who I’m writing this post for.

All I know is that I can’t stop thinking about events that took place on Saturday and the 3-month old baby who no longer has a mom or a dad to love and protect her.

If you hadn’t already learned about the series of events, a Kansas City Chiefs linebacker fatally shot his girlfriend in front of his own mom, and then drove to a practice facility parking lot where he shot and killed himself in front of the football team’s coach and general manager.

That’s two lives removed from this earth far too early, who are now more recognized than they ever dreamed possible for entirely the wrong reasons.

I can’t stop thinking about an article my friend shared on Facebook about the short- and long-term effects that traumatic brain injury has on the lives of football players. Game Over is the most thorough and thought provoking piece of sports writing I’ve read this year. It’s hard to discredit the inextricable link between athletes who’ve routinely had their bells rung  and the mental aftershock they endure.

It’s hard to accept that my boys want to play football and that they are now old enough to play tackle football like their dad did.

This most recent tragedy makes me think about every person who decides to end their life because of hopelessness, confusion, and mental anguish.

photo (43)

I had an aunt who committed suicide. Without going into much detail, I was very young when she decided that life was too hard to live. I never really knew her. I wished I would have.

I’m confident I know people today who are struggling. Who are too proud or scared to admit how much they hurt.

A fear of mine is that they won’t reach out to someone before they reach for the gun, rope, or pill bottle.

It weighs heavily on my heart that so many hurt so much.

photo (42)

I’ve shared my top three uplifting songs before because I believe so strongly in the influence of music.

I also believe in the power of prayer/reflection and of finding peace in others. I believe that blogging is an outlet for many, including myself, to not only embrace but also to escape from the world in which we live.

Never do I diminish another person’s feelings nor judge a person who wrongly believes there is nothing left in them to give. If you are reading this and suffer a sense of despair, I beg you to consider those in your life who you impact everyday. Do not discredit their need to have YOU in their lives.

“Nothing could be worse than the fear that one had given up too soon, and left one unexpended effort that might have saved the world.” – Jane Addams

We all have something to give to this world, even when that something is unknown to ourselves. Don’t ever give up. You are not alone.

Created by Heidi Woodard

In Belonging, Reflection, Shame, Strength, Support , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
permalink

Good in theory

October 18, 2012

My grand idea to bond with my boy has practically killed me.

I don’t have a lot of opportunities to spend significant amounts of time with each of my children independently. When you have three kids, you tend to divide and conquer. And by “divide,” I mean I always end up with two and my husband one.

So when I was given a “Speed Camp” flyer that advertised a once-a-week-for-seven-weeks workout to both children and adults alike, I thought to myself, “Now HERE’S something I can do with Austin (my middle child).” He’s not a complainer and loves spending time with anyone who enjoys his company. I knew I needed to get in better shape and that he would benefit from the extra conditioning as we head into basketball season.

I filled out the flyer, wrote out the check, and walked blindly into the light.

The light that would become my death.

We have officially completed two sessions. Five remaining.

As the time ticked down on our second session, I did something I swore I would never do: I stopped working out before the workout was scheduled to be over. Because I didn’t want a gym full of kids to see me puke or faint.

I don’t think you understand how painfully embarrassing that is to a washed-up former athlete who prides herself on her overall health. To be fair, I donated blood less than 24 hours before the workout.

So when my son gave me a smug little smile once the rest of the group completed the full session, I announced, “I saved a life.”

Oh yes I did. I couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t let all of my competition know how weak I was.

Bonding over buttered popcorn at the movies would have been a better choice in hindsight.

Created by Heidi Woodard

In Crazy, Family, Fitness, Running, Shame , , , , , , , , ,
permalink