Archives For Stress

My daughter brought home this picture today from preschool. It basically sums up how I’ve felt the past 48 hours.

My daughter's artwork is both sloppy and endearing - much like her mom.

My daughter’s artwork is both sloppy and endearing – much like me.

Here’s the problem: Santa has no time to be sick. Santa’s bought roughly a half dozen (rounding up) gifts so far.

Starting tomorrow, there will be 12 Days Til Christmas. Every year I tell myself I won’t put off buying gifts until the last minute, and every year I succumb to the sad realization that I am a procrastinator who detests shopping.

My mom let me know today that she has officially finished finding the perfect gifts for everyone and is ready to embrace the holidays.

I wanted to be mad at her, but that was hard to do since she basically tended to my every need the past two days. How can you possibly say “I can’t stand how organized you are!” in between sips of homemade soup? (OF COURSE HER SOUP IS HOMEMADE…I’m fairly confident I was switched at birth.)

At this point, I can’t even take deep breaths to try to clear my mind and calm myself down. I start coughing like a chain smoker every time I inhale.

All I can do is muster up enough energy to rewrite a classic holiday favorite with lyrics inspired by stress. Feel free to sing along.

12 Days Til Christmas

On the twelfth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
At least you bought a tree

On the eleventh day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
You’ve got two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the tenth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
There are three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the ninth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the eighth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
THRIVE under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the seventh day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
Nix your expectations,
THRIVE under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the sixth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
You’re an awful parent,
Nix your expectations,
THRIVE under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the fifth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
You’re LATE every year!
What an awful parent,
Nix your expectations,
Cry under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the fourth day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
Go blame your husband,
For being LATE every year!
You’re both awful parents,
Nix your expectations,
Cry under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the third day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
Everything is hopeless,
Go blame your husband,
For being LATE every year!
You’re both awful parents,
Nix your expectations,
Cry under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the second day til Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
Wrapping’s overrated,
Everything is hopeless,
Go blame your husband,
For being LATE every year!
You’re both awful parents,
Nix your expectations,
Cry under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree

On the day before Christmas,
My conscience said to me:
There’s always next year,
Wrapping’s overrated,
Everything is hopeless,
Go blame your husband,
For being LATE every year!
You’re both awful parents,
Nix your expectations,
Cry under pressure!
Flip off four people,
Three kids awaiting,
Two family gatherings,
But at least you bought a tree (with a light-up star that quit working almost immediately after we brought it home)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS PEOPLE!

Written by Heidi Woodard

Notice I didn’t say, “If you like to run…” because I don’t know too many people who admit to loving the act of running itself. No, it’s the post-workout high, the release of stress, and the feeling that you are in total control that keeps many runners coming back for more.

I was never a distance runner growing up. In fact, my workouts rarely included running in the first 33 years of my life. While I cannot recall a day of my childhood when I wasn’t on a sporting team and thriving on competition, my level of focus and ability to train independently had never been tested. Then came the summer of 2010 and the Omaha Triathlon, when I knew my husband and I were done having children and I yearned to reclaim part of my pre-baby self. I decided to compete in my first-ever endurance race.

I could barely run a mile without getting seriously winded when I started my conditioning. I was not in bad shape. Both my weight and Body Mass Index were in normal range for my height. I just did not have the lung capacity or proper frame of mind for endurance running. Chalk that up as an excuse that repeatedly ran through my mind: I will just never be able to run long distances. My body isn’t made for that kind of exercise.

Now I have a couple of years under my belt and can confidently claim that I can complete a five-mile run rather easily. Do I enjoy the act of running any more today than I did when I started to build up my endurance? Well, I can definitely claim to enjoy the time I make for myself to run and to clear my head. Every mom needs that mental escape.

I’m registered to complete my second half marathon on May 6 in Lincoln. For anyone else out there who also plans to run a half-marathon this summer, here’s a little guide to help you get in your proper training miles. (thanks to marathonrookie.com)

10-Week Half Marathon Training Schedule
Week Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Total
1 3 Rest 3 3 Rest 4 Rest 13
2 3 Rest 4 3 Rest 5 Rest 15
3 3 Rest 4 3 Rest 6 Rest 16
4 3 Rest 5 3 Rest 8 Rest 19
5 3 Rest 5 3 Rest 10 Rest 21
6 4 Rest 5 4 Rest 11 Rest 24
7 4 Rest 6 4 Rest 12 Rest 26
8 4 Rest 5 4 Rest 9 Rest 22
9 3 Rest 4 3 Rest 8 Rest 18
10 3 Rest 3 Walk 2 Rest 13.1 Rest 21.1

Printable Schedule (PDF)