Archives For Love

The one who sat on my lap and listened to bedtime stories first…is now officially a young man.

When did the Bob the Builder lunch bag, the Pokemon cards, and the high voice disappear?

I look up at him and the reality sinks in that his reliance on me and his dad is fleeting. Here in this moment, yet ever so translucent, like the cloud of air released by breath on a January day in Nebraska. Gone tomorrow.

I had to learn to let him go…from my lap, from the special reading spot, from the longer conversations, from his shared bedroom with his brother, from the extended hugs.

But I realized, only through letting him go, am I able to witness how far he is capable of soaring himself.

I feel in my heart that I did well even when my head starts to doubt.

Is he ready?
Will he get hurt?
Does he know I’ll never judge him?
That we all make mistakes?
That true love is hard?
Will he embrace his potential?
Without a shadow of doubt?
Will he remain humble?
Can I still hold his hand (when no one’s looking)?

The most ironic thing is that I still remember rocking him back and forth in his first bedroom with walls adorned in Noah’s arc stencils, the bunk beds, and the hard wood floors.

In that time and place when I was practically busting at the seams with his brother in my belly and having little room left on my lap, I worried and wondered as I turned the book pages, Will he be ok when he no longer has me for just himself?

 

The answer is a resounding YES. He is ok.

I, on the other hand, am only doing so-so.

Happy 14th birthday. Your dad and I are so very lucky to have been blessed with you and cannot wait to see what life has in store for you.

Short but oh so sweet

September 28, 2015

I should develop an outline. I should hash out my thoughts before spilling them here. I should proofread my first draft and make it all sound better. I should reach a minimum word count. I should explain why I haven’t written in far too long.

Aahhhhh…screw it.

My mini me reminding me of what it used to be like to be Heidi.

My mini me reminding me of what it used to be like to be Heidi.

All I want to do is share this moment with all of you.

And I want to tell this beautiful soul that my primary job as her mom is to make as many of her future days as possible feel exactly like this one did.

I make life too complicated some days. Do you too?

Look up. Look around. The good stuff is either already there in plain sight or is hidden somewhere for you to find.

There’s beauty in the branches of a weeping willow.

There’s love in the laughter of a child.

There’s a bit of me in her. I must remember to embrace and savor that little girl.

Written by Heidi Woodard

When I created Maternal Media back in 2012, I vowed to give readers a place to go when they needed a gentle reminder to take everything in stride. If I’m being completely honest, I knew this site would serve me just as much as it would you.

My last post was all about viewing each new day as a sunrise as opposed to a storm. I’m a big believer in positive thinking. My body and facial expression don’t always get the memo, but my soul’s desire is to always remain sunny.

I like to follow and hang out with similar thinkers. My thought is it’s generally easier for all of us to harp on the bad stuff in life, because there is plenty of that to go around, than it is to live simplistically and seek out beauty in the everyday ordinary.

That being said…

My family is a typical over-scheduled American stereotype. Between the five of us, we’re currently “balancing” two jobs (well, four, if I count my side gigs and my husband’s refereeing), two schools, four sports, one stress-filled holiday, a geriatric dog, you get the point.

I was literally yelling out WHERE’S MY D@MN SUNSHINE?! on my birthday last weekend after learning our oldest boy was diagnosed with strep throat. This, after his younger brother and dad were both sick for over a month prior.

As the dark clouds threatened to roll over my body, I resisted the temptation to hang my head low and retreat.

Had I not looked up, I would have missed one of arguably the funnier kindergarten concert performances I’ve had the privilege of watching. My daughter’s in the black dress in the top middle, breaking pinatas like a boss. (And, in case you’re wondering, I’m still too dumb to remember to hold my phone horizontally while videotaping. Can’t Apple develop some trick to auto-correct that? They’re a freaking technology think camp.)

I would have also missed an event that happens about as often as a Halley’s Comet sighting, which was capturing both of my boys smiling next to one another as if they generally get along.

Give me one moment in time. - Whitney Houston

Give me one moment in time. – Whitney Houston

To all the parents out there, I urge you to read the words below and take comfort in the fact that none of us are doing it 100 percent right 100 percent of the time. I’m a recovering perfectionist. Trust me when I share that doing everything precisely the way it should be done is overrated, especially when it compromises your sanity.

We live. We make mistakes. We learn. We move on.

“Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is the way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting
tomatoes, apples and pears.
Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself.”
William Martin

Written by Heidi Woodard