Bat crap crazy

May 19, 2013

Hi you.

How’s life?

Me? Mine’s good. Just a little battier than normal.

About a month ago, I was sitting in one of my go-to blogging spots around the house (I have two – on a living room chair when the kids are asleep and in my bed, with the door closed, when the kids and living room TV are attempting to one-up each other in the noise department).

I was in the former when I heard the faint sound of fluttering wings. I thought it might be some birds making a nest on the backside of our house. After all, it is spring and isn’t that the normal time birds build nests?

Only it dawned on me that it was 11 o’clock at night. Aren’t birds supposed to be sleeping by then?

A shudder ran up my spine when I realized the sound was not coming from the outside, but instead was happening in the ceiling pretty much right above my head.

We’re the first owners of our house and I think it’s only 6 or 7 years old. Don’t uninvited pests normally target older houses to creep into?

Well, last week, (one of) my worst nightmares came true via this text exchange between my husband and me.

Ryan likes to see me squirm.

Ryan likes to see me squirm.

The reality: We have bats in our attic. I’m not sure how many, but if I was a gambling woman, I’d bet a half dozen to 10. Another reality: My husband thinks he’s hilarious.

So the plan of attack is that we’ve hired a company called Critter Control to evict the bats next week. We have to pay a ton of money to guarantee they don’t come back. If the choice is paying through the nose to make sure I don’t have bats crashing in my ceiling or going up to investigate the situation myself, it’s a no-brainer.

Make fun of me for being a wuss. I’m not bat crap crazy.

We chose the location of our home when our boys were very young, mainly due to the beautiful open space that is accessible from our back yard. It’s a natural playground with walking trails, a creek, bridges, mature trees, and lots of land.

Unbeknownst to me until this year, it’s also a pretty stellar place for bats to hang out too.

Bats have plenty of space to chill here. They need to get out of my attic and pronto.

Bats have plenty of space to chill here. They need to get out of my attic (pronto)!

Created by Heidi Woodard

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17 responses to Bat crap crazy

  1. 

    My friend had bats in his attic and it scared me. I never wanted to go to the top floor of his house. The yard with the creek looks beautiful by the way.

  2. 

    As your friend with a slightly wicked sense of humor, I can’t help but laugh a tiny bit at the thought of you sitting quietly and hearing rustling wings for the first time.
    As your sympathetic friend, I feel SO bad for you! I’d be scared to death if I had bats in my house!
    As your helpful friend, I encourage you, if you have not yet extensively googled “bats in your attic”, please do not do it now.. πŸ˜‰

    • 

      I need to sleep at some point tonight. I am refusing to Google it for fear I will never be able to walk away from what I’m reading/seeing! Maybe tomorrow…during the day…when I won’t hear them taunting me.

      • 

        call the colleges in omaha, they use the bats in the biology dept.

      • 

        Good idea on paper, Moran. But have you ever actually done that? Does Critter Control relocate the bats I wonder? We don’t just need them to be taken away. We also need their entry points to be sealed. Did you know they can get through a hole the size of a pencil?!

  3. 

    Rats. With. Wings.

  4. 

    I thought this was about baseball or softball bats. I have them in my house too! πŸ™‚

  5. 

    Heidi–I am glad they weren’t inside the house. There is nothing like waking up to a bat circling your bedroom, or a flying squirrel. Needless to say we have had both and sleep with a tennis racket in the room.

  6. 

    I’m a little disappointed Ryan won’t be handling this situation himself. A video of him trying would be a YouTube sensation!

    • 

      The true test of toughness: are you willing to risk having a small animal with wings come out of nowhere and dive bomb your head? Yeah, no, Ryan did not pass (and I don’t blame him).

  7. 

    We had a small hole in our upstairs bathroom ceiling due to a leak. Unbeknownst to us, a little bat sneaked through the opening. I noticed it flying over my husband’s head as I was returning from one last bathroom trip before bed. I did what any sensible wife would do. I shut the door (with my husband still inside the room), so that it could not escape. Then I listened to him try to get the bat to leave through the window. Was kind of amusing – my husband had a sore knee for weeks because of that battle – that part was not so funny. (The bat lost the battle by the way. Permanently.)