Seeing as my advice post to my son about starting junior high resonated with so many readers, I asked a friend to write a counterpoint to his daughter about what it was like for him to be a preteen boy in 7th grade.

Matt from Running Off at the Mind did not disappoint.

Matt and his preteen posse. Boys will be boys.

Matt (center and sporting the suburban gangster pose) and his preteen posse. Boys will be boys.

While I got to talk about my experience being a hormone-crazed girl who thought about boys 23 hours out of any typical day, he confirmed to his daughter, me, and every other female what we always sort of suspected: Boys don’t always think as much as we do…about anything.

To quote Matt,

7th grade, huh? Wow, that’s kind of a big deal. You know what? I sucked at 7th grade. I was horrible at it. You may find this hard to believe, but I was sort of obnoxious. All my friends were desperately trying to be cool and I still wanted to ride my bike in a circle and spit out sunflower seeds (yeah, I was that kid).

Listen, sweetie, here’s the one thing you need to know about boys:

We’re idiots.

You can read the rest of Matt’s sound advice over on his blog. Read his post and give him some likes or comment love if you can relate.

I’ll be the first to admit that women are crazy, but I would agree with Matt that men are (generally) idiots.

Matt in his 7th grade glory

Matt in his 7th grade glory

Good luck, kids, as you embark on a new school year and a new chapter – however awkward – in your life.

Written by Heidi Woodard

I am telling you now, dear boy, that junior high is fantastic and awful and amazing and embarrassing all rolled into two years.

I realize you’ll be a teenager soon so you already have all the answers, but please entertain me and read this from beginning to end.

Seeing as I don’t share the same anatomy as you, I won’t pretend to know how you are feeling as you transition from an old boy into a young man. But I do know how it feels to be a hormone-crazed girl and my best advice to you when dealing with such a species is: Be nice. Be respectful. Beware.

 

Your mom KNOWS about junior high girls. See that guy on the right? That guy had the hair of Vanilla Ice. Need I say more? See that girl on the left? It took me 45 minutes to tight-roll those jean shorts just right, Aqua Net that hair up, and locate my whitest Keds to blow him away. That guy and I spoke maybe 12 words to each other all year long, yet I assumed he was a lyrical poet. Junior high girls are crazy. TRUST ME ON THIS.

Your mom KNOWS about junior high girls. See that guy on the right? That guy had the hair of Vanilla Ice. Need I say more? See that girl on the left? It took me 45 minutes to tight-roll those jean shorts just right, Aqua Net that hair up, and locate my whitest Keds to blow him away. That guy and I spoke maybe 12 words to each other all year long, yet I assumed he was a lyrical poet. We were going to take 1990-1991 by storm. In a nutshell, junior high girls are crazy. TRUST ME ON THIS.

 

Over the past three months, there are a handful of girls who, much like me when I was their age, spent their summer days leading up to seventh grade obsessing over how they’ll look, who they’ll hang out with, and how they’ll manage to act casual yet intriguing in front of boys much like you.

The same girl you remember playing kickball with last May will show up in a week smelling nicer, looking older, laughing louder, and talking uncontrollably about crap you couldn’t care less about.

You are bound to feel confused and slightly annoyed by this behavior. Realize she may be second-guessing every decision she makes…so…

Be nice.

She will playfully punch you in the arm and tell you that you’re stupid while batting her eyelashes (which are longer than you remember) and you’re going to wonder, “What in the hell is she doing with her eyes? I don’t even know where I’m supposed to look.”

They’ll be crop tops, mini skirts, and little left to the imagination.

Whatever you do, don’t look down. Keep looking at girls in their eyes. In other words…always…

Be respectful.

You will have feelings that are fueled by these alien females as well as constant razzing from your male peers. Do not engage in questionable behavior or hang out with the less-than-desirable crowd because you think it makes you seem cooler. I know I am slightly biased as your mom, but I can tell you with 100 percent certainty: You are cool enough as is.

Remember what is important to you. Continue to be a leader both inside and outside of the classroom.

No matter how much you or those around you change in terms of physical growth or behavioral tendencies, always remember what is important to you (yes, I repeated that on purpose). And when little miss sunshine comes prancing around the corner asking you to cut back on the things that make you the happiest in life so that you’ll have more time to spend with her…no matter how hot she is…

Beware.

Written (with love) by Heidi Woodard

Special thanks to Peggy Dineen Reall for finding these blast-from-the-past pics.

Special thanks to Peggy Dineen Reall for finding these blast-from-the-past pictures.

 

Two words: Sports talk. Two more words: Mom blogger. What could possibly go wrong?

I was extended an invitation by Damon Benning, who is one half of the broadcasting powerhouse known as Sharp and Benning in the Morning, to appear on their sports talk show this Wednesday. They’ve been educating and entertaining listeners for over two years on 1620 the ZONE, Omaha’s #1 local sports station.

The topic is youth sports and how adults ruin everything for the kids.

I may have taken the liberty of adding the last eight words based on my opinionated view on this matter.

I will be part of a panel of experts – well, besides me, of course – and I have no idea what to expect. Strangely, that is precisely how I prefer to work. I don’t want to know what you’re going to throw at me. I like to respond by winging it (much to the chagrin of my former coaches and bosses).

I know that Damon was a former standout student athlete like myself. He simply played in a larger arena. He was a running back for the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers from 1992 to 1996. He was the 1996 Orange Bowl MVP.

He knows what it’s like to compete at a high level and then raise kids who are playing competitive sports as well.

If he doesn’t introduce me as a Creighton University Hall of Famer to tout my credentials, you better believe I will. I know I will be speaking to a (predominantly) large group of male listeners, and I can only imagine what they’ll all be thinking when they hear a local mom blogger is joining in on the discussion.

Guys, listen, I had an athletic career before I was a mom…and it was a damn good one. So, yes, I do get my panties in a twist when a parent tries to convince everyone that their kid is destined to go pro, or decides it’s a good idea to publicly humiliate their child because they disagree with a coach or an official, or generally live vicariously through their offspring on the court or field. Your kid’s either got it or they don’t…the truth hurts sometimes.

The statistics speak for themselves: From High School to Pro – How Many Will Go?

I believe Dr. Louis M. Profeta put it best in his March 25 post, Your kid and my kid are not playing in the pros.

With all of these facts staring us normally level-headed adults straight in the face, why do we continue to justify spending thousands upon thousands of dollars in private lessons, league fees, hotel accommodations, athletic gear, and (gasp) medical bills to keep our son or daughter in the game?

Anyone who knows me knows I am one of the biggest advocates of youth sports. Team sports, in particular, teach kids the valuable lesson that things don’t always go your way. They drive home the concept of a collaborative group being greater than any one all-star.

The biggest dilemma I’ve faced as I’ve shifted from player to parent is I have more perspective now. Let me repeat that: I consider my parental perspective a dilemma. The reason I feel that way is because I’ve witnessed a handful of wonderful coaches and parents putting their time and energy into teaching kids how to play the game. I’ve also watched a lot of selfish adults putting their own interests ahead of all else. The former group is shrinking by the second.

Kids must learn how to win graciously and lose humbly. Adults must learn how to level set expectations.

Because, at the end of their playing days, every athlete should feel pride in what they’ve accomplished, not shame for what never was.

Written by Heidi Woodard