What I know today

What I know today is a result of a decision I made back on Sunday, January 7, 2018.

On that day, I attended church. Going to church on Sunday is not a big deal normally. Plenty of people do it.

But you see, it had been awhile since I personally went. And the reason I attended service that day was because a friend of mine, whose son committed suicide at the tender age of 15 exactly two years prior, gently nudged her Facebook friends to go to whatever house of worship they felt most comfortable with in his honor.

And I just couldn’t come up with any good reason why I shouldn’t fulfill that lovely woman’s request.

So, on January 7, I walked into a church and thought of her son and reflected on his life as well as my own. I thought about how I am parenting my own three children. I contemplated the job I was working, that was located far too far away from our family’s home.

While I don’t publicly share much about my faith on this blog, I am beginning to question why I don’t. People often share their opinions on perceived polarizing topics without fear of repercussion or being misunderstood. I don’t automatically agree with all of my friends’ beliefs, nor do I expect them to adopt all of mine.

Friendship is not something that I think you must believe a certain way to earn or share. I think the best we can all do is talk less and listen more on this short thrill ride we call life.

As a reader of this blog, I ask that you listen to me as I would you while I share what I know today. And if you’re up for it, tell me in the comments (or reach out to me privately) what you know today.

• I know that I walked into church wanting answers, especially after having suffered my own personal loss at the untimely passing of my cousin.
• I know I signed up to receive Wednesday prayer reminders and that I look forward to those moments of reflection to break up my otherwise hectic weekly routine.
• I know that one of the verses that has meant a great deal to me is John 3:30 that reads “He must become greater; I must become less.”
• I know a quote that resonated with me was originally offered by D.L. Moody, “Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at something that doesn’t really matter.”
• I know that, earlier in my life, my goal was to be noticed. Now that I am later in my life, my goal is to make a conscious effort to notice and be grateful for life’s blessings.
• I know that job satisfaction can be determined in just six weeks. I have known how it felt to realize I wasn’t where I should be, as well as what it feels like to fit in naturally.
• I know that God is looking out for my children when I am not, connecting them with friends who they can rely upon in times of triumph or tribulation.
• I know that I don’t always agree with everything that’s affiliated with organized religion, but I will always believe in God as well as the power of connecting with people.
• I know that God believes in my immeasurable value. Just as my life is enriched beyond measure simply because my children exist (not tied to what they do), it is an amazing feeling to know that I am worthy of unconditional love by being, not competing.
• I know that many of my friends and family experience every day suffering and that their struggles remain in my heart and mind even when I don’t always reach out to tell them so.
• I know I am a big fan of Hands Free Mama, Rachel Macy Stafford, and I encourage my friends to read her blog and books.
• I know I am grateful to have supportive people in my corner…at the top of the list are my parents, my husband, and my in-laws.
• I know that tomorrow is not guaranteed so I ask that you let those you love know how much they mean to you as freely and as often as you can.

For the young man who made that final choice to end his life because he thought he had no other solution, know that your story has impacted my life and countless others.

Remember to #bekind.

Written by Heidi Woodard