I assume the majority of you have seen My Super Sweet 16 on MTV? It’s a reality show that documents the coming-of-age parties for spoiled rich kids that are paid for by their delusional parents and attended by their fake friends.
Here’s a clip from The Soup to catch you up.
Alas, my five-year old daughter will soon be turning another year older so I’ve officially started planning for her big celebration.
I’m referring to the shindig as her “Sorta sweet (if you squint) 6” because momma needs to stay within budget and also…well…she’s only six freaking years old. At this age, I should be able to stick her in a room with a helium-filled Mylar balloon and let her discover the joys of voice manipulation and unexplained dizziness.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I’ve asked an extremely talented friend of mine to create her birthday “dress cake” out of cupcakes similar to the princess style shown below.
This is what my friend is capable of doing.
This is what I am capable of doing. #NailedIt
I’ve picked the date and venue and am crossing my fingers that five of her closest friends like to bowl. See what I did there?
“Honey, you can pick five friends to attend to make a total of six people (counting you) at the party – one for every year you’ve grown bigger!” It just so happens that six is also the number of allowable bowlers per lane included in the party package.
Instead of taking out a second mortgage to pay for goodie bags, I’m going to order some awesome jean tattoos from Peaceable Kingdom. Their company’s Marketing Manager sent me free samples to try out on my daughter’s jeans and we absolutely loved them. I think the kids will go nuts over these easy-to-wear tattoos.
My daughter modeling her new favorite accessory, jean tattoos! (they easily wash off in a normal wash cycle)
Wish me luck as I attempt to pull off this party without breaking the bank.
Let me know if you’ve pulled off a killer party for your son or daughter without incurring too much expense!
Written by Heidi Woodard
maternalmedia 
What?! No “Bowling Alley Princess” commemorative bowling shirts, hand-embroidered by her loving mom with each birthday partygoer’s name, for the giveaway? Well, I think we know what the gossip around the kindergarten table will be the next day. At least you didn’t buy her the wrong Lexus.
No Lexus, but she will walk away with her own bowling pin that all the party goers will sign. Think of all the good times she’ll have whacking her brothers with THAT!
I’m still laughing (literally out loud) at your beautiful cupcake cake! Nailed it for sure!
It still tasted awesome. I’m sure I ate half of it.
True story. When Chelsea turned 5 (now 24) we had a great party.
Game #1:
We laid out long sheets of visqueen side-by-side and lined up long lines of little cubes of Jell-O that we spent the week before making on those sheets. We then had all the 5-year olds on their hands and knees sucking them up. First one done was the winner. That was the day the Jell-O sucking contest was invented.
Game #2:
Cracker races. Each kid got 5 Saltine Crackers — no water. The had to place all 5 in their mouths at once. Whoever finished them first won. Within 30 seconds my floor was covered with Saltine particles which spewed from the mouth of toddlers. Once they started the contest they all began to laugh, and my vacuum cleaner got a great workout.
That sounds like a pretty stellar party no matter what the age, Roy.
Yeah, it’s pretty fun and works well with drunk yuppies too. I hear…