What she wants to be when she grows up

March 18, 2013

As my four-year old daughter and I lay in bed one evening, she started in on a litany of endless questions per her normal bedtime routine.

When will get a husband? When will I be a mommy?

I instinctively launched into a series of sensible replies. You don’t need to worry about getting married until you are done with college. After college, you can find a job that you like and then maybe find a husband too. After you are married, you could become a mommy. And then I will be a grandma! (giggles…hers genuine, mine nervous)

A large part of me wanted to preach about not rushing into sharing her life with others. I want her to know what it’s like to get to know and love herself first.

But then I paused and thought about how awesome it is that she really wants to be a mom someday.

Heaven knows I am not the poster child for attentiveness. I work full-time, which means my children have other caregivers besides me that they rely upon. I write often so it’s not uncommon for them to see mom’s face buried in her laptop. I run on occasion so they’ve had to accept that exercise contributes to mom’s happiness.

However, I am also confident they know there isn’t anything I value more in life than them.

I’ve consciously chosen to put them first, over climbing the corporate ladder, ahead of my social life, and even before my husband when I think about it. Date nights get scheduled or they don’t happen in the midst of our kids’ activities.

cocktails by candlelight...errr...the glow of TVs

cocktails by candlelight…errr…the glow of TVs

The last drinks I shared with my spouse were more of a survival tactic than a pleasurable escape. We sipped them in between basketball games while eating dinner at a local sports bar. The romantic ambiance of blaring TVs was surpassed only by the chatter of overstimulated children.

The funny part is…I honestly wouldn’t want to live my life any other way.

That doesn’t mean I don’t want to check out every now and then, throw my hands up in the air, and auction them all off to the highest bidder.

It simply means that chaos feels comfortable.

Knowing that my little girl wants to follow in my footsteps is humbling to say the least. I have a feeling I will want to follow her lead too.

I just hope she doesn’t leave me in the dust as she heads off to conquer the world.

Created by Heidi Woodard

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4 responses to What she wants to be when she grows up

  1. 

    What an especially well written, thought-provoking post. I’m glad your kids put up with you burying your face in your laptop from time to time. 🙂

    • 

      If I have to see them all-encompassed with their iPods and Nintendo DSs, then it’s only fair they give me some slack every now and then for my screen addiction.

      Sent from my iPhone

  2. 

    “It simply means that chaos feels comfortable.”

    Only recently have I come to understand this. With me though, it represents the chaos in my head, not in my life — not necessarily synonymous…