What do you call a group of cougars?

November 13, 2012

You may assume you know the answer. But if you answered “pride,” I’m sorry to say you are dead wrong.

A group of cougars is commonly referred to as “twihards,” as in, intense older-aged female fans of the Twilight series. They are often categorized by their “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob” overly snug apparel and unabashed cat-calls directed towards half-dressed, half-their-age actors.

I was indoctrinated last year when Aksarben Cinema ran a Twilight movie marathon. Up to that point, I hadn’t read a single page of any of the books in the series or seen any of the movies.

I thought to myself, “What better way to find out what all the hype is about than by taking in all of the movies back-to-back (-to-back-to-back) in one sitting?”

Did I mention that Aksarben Cinema has a bar serving alcohol? I am not sure who decided to build a bar in a movie theater, but whoever it was must have envisioned how much cougars would swarm to these watering holes during movie marathons.

Cougars tend to travel in packs and this movie-going experience was no exception.I, myself, gathered together a few of my besties and we were entertained not only by what was on the big screen but also by the behavior of our fellow audience members.

I found it a bit hypocritical that every female in the theater would undoubtedly raise an eye brow and publicly shame any man who admitted getting hot and bothered by young actresses (think Olsen twins). Yet, from the moment Taylor Lautner, who plays Jacob in the Twilight movies, removed his shirt – he was only 16 when the first Twilight movie came out – women were crawling over the seats pawing and purring at the screen.

Mary Kate Olsen getting cozy with her creepy uncle…eerrrr…boyfriend Olivier Sarkowzy at a Knicks game.

Don’t look at me that way, Jacob. You are a child.

Fast forward one year, and I am preparing to experience yet another Twilight marathon with my friends. The tickets are bought. The anticipation is killing me.

We will begin around lunch time when we settle back into our seats and won’t leave until the closing credits scroll down the screen after the fifth and final installment concludes.

Yes, it is ridiculous. I mean, who in their right mind thinks it’s a good idea to stare at a screen for over 10 hours straight? The answer to that question is simple: Anyone who enjoys catching glimpses of Edward (portrayed by Robert Pattinson, who I might add, is still too young for this cougar, but has always been OF LEGAL AGE).

Maybe I did snap this photo of Edward last year during the movie marathon. Judge, judge away.

Feel free to leave a comment if you are brave enough to admit to succumbing to guilty pleasures like the Twilight movie marathon. Or simply wish me luck on staying awake past 10 p.m.

Created by Heidi Woodard

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3 responses to What do you call a group of cougars?

  1. 

    Ha! I’m planning on seeing the last movie this Friday at 10 pm and I too am hoping I’ll be able to stay awake. I know that I could not sit through all the movies in one sitting though. My rear end aches just thinking about it! Have fun. 🙂

    • 

      It starts off like a true marathon. Everyone is amped (even a bit nervous). By the halfway point, you question why on earth you committed yourself to completing a seemingly never-ending journey. At the end, there is a feeling of pride and exhaustion. HA!

  2. 

    This is why movie theaters should be built right beside sports bars — for couples outings 🙂