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Archives For November 30, 1999

I cried at work

September 5, 2014

Aside from major life tragedies (sickness, loss, prejudice, poverty, war, death), is there anything worse than crying in front of coworkers?

That moment when you feel your cheeks turning red, are unable to blink fast enough to stave off tears, and lose all control in an environment where self-composure and confidence hail supreme?

Usually there’s not a worse feeling. But not this time, my friends.

This time, I felt a mixture of silly embarrassment and glorious pride as I blotted the corners of my eyes. I didn’t mind in the least bit that the instructor’s gaze landed directly on mine or that my coworkers heard my sniffling.

I was taking part in a Community Health Worker training class and we were discussing cultural intelligence; in particular, how gender roles are established and reinforced.

The instructor casually dropped a bomb on me when I was least expecting it. It came in the form of a YouTube clip about a campaign I had read about months ago, but had never taken the time to actually watch: Always #LikeAGirl

This 3-minute video gives a glimpse into how fragile the identity of a female is as she transitions from a little girl into an adolescent and beyond. How seemingly innocent words that are directed at her, about her, with little to no regard of her internal drive or ability, but rather solely focused on her external anatomy, can have lasting consequences.

The athlete in me wanted to scream out DON’T EVER DOUBT YOURSELF! to 10-year old Dakota, the feisty brunette dressed in the rainbow-striped tank top.

The mother in me wanted to throw my arms around the boy in yellow who came to the realization, with a wee bit of nudging from Director Lauren Greenfield, that he will think before he judges girls – including his sister – in the future.

The writer in me wanted to capture all the thoughts spinning round and round in my head…

One of those being how fascinated I am in seeing the reverse side of the coin: What is means to do things #LikeABoy.

Another being how grateful I am that a feminine hygiene product company finally got it right with their customer messaging.

And, lastly, I wondered why I was so deeply affected watching it considering I’ve always considered myself to be a confident person. I guess it just reminded me of times in my life when I doubted myself.

This video tugged on my heart because it gave a voice to those who have felt wrongly judged.

Everyone has a burden to carry, a hurdle to clear, a story to tell. You have the right to write your story.

Here’s another fun video just because. GO GIRLS!

Written by Heidi Woodard

In Inspiration, Reflection , , , , , , , ,
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9 Things People Who Continually Want to Grow Won’t Do

August 20, 2014

I read the headline of Dr. Travis Bradberry’s piece on LinkedIn, 9 Things Successful People Won’t Do and my gut reaction was, They probably aren’t reading this stuff like I (routinely) do because they, unlike me, are a more finished product. At least that’s how I perceive successful people to be.

Me? My personal motto is: Enjoy the journey of finding out who you want to be when you grow up.

I know I’m not there yet, but I refuse not to have fun on the ride.

Allow me to slide you my business card in a non-intrusive, non-salesy way.

Allow me to slide you my business card in a non-intrusive, non-salesy way. You don’t even have to suffer through small talk, elevator speeches, or general awkwardness.

I thought Dr. Bradberry’s article was very insightful. It affirmed some things that I believe I already personally practice. An example is that I’ve learned to say no when I know my plate is full. Well, the majority of time I do.

It also brought to light some areas where I need more work. I tend to prioritize perfection, for one, at the risk of not giving adequate attention to what I should be prioritizing in life. The first is an unreachable ideal; the second are people.

Unlike other articles I’ve read about the same topic, this one didn’t assume that everyone’s definition of success is the same.

That unique viewpoint is refreshing.

My definition of success doesn’t involve a fixed dollar amount. While I don’t want to live entirely on ramen noodles, I also don’t mind driving an older car, shopping the clearance rack every now and then, and not reaching the top of the corporate ladder.

My definition of success is knowing, without a doubt, that I’m growing.

If you would describe yourself in much the same way, allow me to offer up this follow-up list: 9 Things People Who Continually Want to Grow Won’t Do.

  • They won’t remain the same and expect to change at the same time.
  • They won’t let mole hills become mountains.
  • They won’t use their mouths more than they use their ears.
  • They won’t be intimidated by or jealous of the experts (in whatever field); instead, they choose to learn from them.
  • They won’t be obsessed with how others perceive them. They know their greatest strengths lie within.
  • They won’t allow naysayers to minimize their efforts. The take real and palpable pride in a job well done.
  • They won’t check Twitter, Facebook, email, and watch TV simultaneously if they need to focus. Have I mentioned it took me over four hours to write this post? #fail
  • They won’t be grouchy. It’s impossible to grow if you’re too busy sucking energy out from everything around you.
  • They won’t take life for granted.

It’s worth repeating that last bullet. I’ve had the chance to watch one of my son’s baseball coaches fight cancer and win, only to have the cancer return. His strength and determination astound me. I asked him what piece of advice he would give on this topic and he replied with a (modified) Yogi Berra quote.

Baseball Cancer is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.

In my mind, he is successful for making a lasting imprint on me and countless others. He refuses to feel defeated in lieu of everything he’s going through. He is growing, moving forward, kicking ass, and taking names.

So I ask you this: What’s your excuse?

Written by Heidi Woodard

In Awareness, Inspiration, Passion, Reflection , , , , , , ,
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Honoring Robin Williams: the man who uplifted all of us

August 11, 2014
Robin Williams c/o chicagoreader.com

Robin Williams c/o chicagoreader.com

The revelation of Robin Williams’ passing spread like wild fire through news and entertainment sites tonight. I imagine years from now people will remember where they were and what they were doing when they learned of the actor/comedian’s untimely death.

I was walking back to my van with my oldest after finishing up Back to School night at a new school and all I could think of was: I must show my kids his work. They’ve never seen an actor like him and I’m positive no one will compare to him in their lifetimes.

Dead Poets Society. Goodwill Hunting. Jumanji. Patch Adams. The list of classics goes on and on. I don’t have to dig deep into my mind to recall the imprint he singlehandedly left on my psyche. Those movie memories were as essential to my upbringing as my own real life experiences.

This one is truly irreplaceable. And I only laid witness to his public talents…I cannot imagine the demons that such an extraordinary actor possessed behind closed doors. He battled with alcohol, drugs, and loneliness yet still managed to make us smile and feel better about ourselves. As did Chris Farley. As did Michael Jackson. As did Amy Winehouse.

Each time a wildly popular celebrity shares their condolences via the Twitterverse or a rather insignificant blogger feels compelled to share their feelings much like I am doing now, I think about Williams’ friends, family, and fans having to reabsorb the shock of reality punching them in the gut time and time again. It’s hard to regain one’s breath while trying to defend against rapid fire punches from every angle.

Yet I feel compelled to tell every reader who stumbles upon this post that it’s ok to feel really sad and lost in response to losing a man we never really knew.

It’s ok to admit that there are days when you feel like you’re treading water in pitch blackness with no life jacket while ocean waves crash all around your head.

It’s ok to feel helpless as you watch someone you love transform into someone you can’t even recognize…to wonder if your days with them are numbered and beyond your control.

It’s ok to acknowledge that you are not perfect and, that despite all of your best efforts, you will never be enough.

It’s ok to not be able to force yourself to fall asleep, to turn off your brain, to numb yourself enough to forget and move on.

I’m here to tell you that I don’t even have to know you to know this: It’s NOT ok to give up.

Yes, this is selfish advice. I don’t have to have a degree in Psychology to know that I believe the world is a better place with you, in spite of all your self-perceived shortcomings and failures, in it.

I’ve written this before, but it’s worth sharing again:

Never do I diminish another person’s feelings nor judge a person who wrongly believes there is nothing left in them to give. If you are reading this and suffer a sense of despair, I beg you to consider those in your life who you impact every day. Do not discredit their need to have YOU in their lives.

If you think you need help, I’m asking you to contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.

Robin Williams offered himself up for our enjoyment and we collectively loved every minute of it. He then allegedly gave up on fighting a life that tormented him, resulting in our despair and disbelief.

Honor him and those who love you by saving yourself before it’s too late. Honor him by throwing someone else a life jacket who’s been treading water for far too long.

Written by Heidi Woodard

In Awareness, Honor, Memories, Reflection , , ,
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